Uncover Your Money Story: Understand Your Financial Habits

Welcome to “A Rich Life,” a new column by Shaun Maslyk, Certified Financial Planner and Certified Financial Behaviour Specialist, exploring how financial psychology can help us understand our real-life money stories.

Have you ever stopped to think about your personal money story?

Your relationship with money shapes daily choices and long-term outcomes. It affects how you work, spend, save, and feel about yourself. Yet most of us rarely take the time to examine this relationship in any depth. Our money story lives largely beneath conscious thought, but it still guides important decisions—sometimes the biggest ones—without our full awareness.

Research in financial psychology shows that our unconscious beliefs about money can predict observable outcomes like income, credit behaviour, net worth, and broader financial habits. So the question becomes: do we want to simply close the book on our money story, or do we want to study it, understand it, and use that understanding to make better choices?

Where do our money stories come from?

A money story grows from many influences: childhood experiences, family beliefs, cultural norms, peers, schooling, and the socioeconomic conditions around us. Early memories often lay the groundwork, but generational patterns and societal messages also play a role. Without reflection, these influences can operate automatically—shaping behaviour and emotions around money without our explicit consent.

My own money story

For me, the story began with a childhood belief that I was shy and that my voice didn’t matter. Over time, that belief evolved into an inner critic that affected how I valued myself and how I related to money. I labelled that voice “Mr. Shy.”

Mr. Shy gave money symbolic meaning: it represented visibility, acceptance, power and worth. As I started earning income, those ideas were reinforced. Money seemed to offer the short-lived validation I craved.

Mr. Shy’s core assumptions included:

Money gives you a voice.
Money helps you to be seen.
Money gives you power.
Money makes you feel accepted.

Those assumptions led me to chase external markers—achievement, recognition, prestige and the dopamine highs that come with them. I was repeating familiar scripts, chasing outcomes that felt like proof of value, rather than recognizing the deeper emotional needs underneath.

How I examined my money story

Looking honestly at that story was uncomfortable but essential. The pursuit of money felt like a protective armour, promising a sense of safety that was ultimately unreliable. I discovered that the need to accumulate wealth had become an “unsafe” safety net—one that created distance from everyday life and the present moment.

Even as a financial planner, I found myself making decisions that didn’t match textbook logic. I was surprised to learn how much emotion and identity were influencing my choices. That realization led me to reflective practices—journaling, self-questioning and slowing down—to explore what lay beneath the behaviours.

Try asking yourself these questions to begin uncovering your own money story:

What were your childhood experiences with money?
What is your earliest money memory?
What positive and negative money memories do you have from childhood?
What money lessons did you learn from your parents or other caregivers?
What attitudes toward money were common in your community or socioeconomic group?
How have your beliefs about money affected your life, both positively and negatively?
When you trace your answers back, where did your current relationship with money originate?

Why does seeking money sometimes feel endless?

For many people, the pursuit of money becomes a loop because it’s tied to identity and emotional needs rather than simply practical goals. As I examined my own motives, I found that shifting attention from “How much?” and “What will this prove?” to “Why do I want this?” helped break the cycle. Moving from the head to the heart—slowing down, noticing triggers, and appreciating small moments—reduced the urgency and created space for different choices.

That shift allowed me to untether from outcome-based thinking. Instead of needing money to validate my worth, I began to reclaim authorship of my life and my financial decisions. Simple acts—walking my children to school, savoring a cup of coffee, being present—became part of a healthier balance between planning for the future and living today.

Examining our money stories can be complex

What hidden truths about yourself might your money story reveal? Exploring that story can surface uncomfortable patterns, but it can also uncover the motivations behind your financial choices and free you to make different ones.

Remember: money makes many things easier, but it cannot buy self-worth or guarantee fulfillment. Financial planning is important, and preparing for the future matters, but the present is the only time guaranteed to us. Seeing money as a tool rather than a measure of your value is a central insight that often emerges from this work.

For me, understanding my money story brought the realization that the richest parts of life are not only financial. The real treasure is learning to live more fully in the present while still preparing responsibly for tomorrow.

Why should you examine your money story?

Exploring your money story makes financial decisions more conscious and more aligned with your values. It reveals how past experiences and unconscious beliefs shape present behaviour and future plans. This awareness is not a one-time fix; it’s an ongoing practice that evolves over a lifetime.

Take a few moments to reflect on the questions above. Even small revelations can help you change automatic patterns and make financial choices that better reflect who you are and what you truly want.

Shaun Maslyk hosts The Most Hated F-Word Podcast, which explores the psychology of money and helps listeners better understand their relationship with it. As a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Financial Behaviour Specialist, Shaun offers insights and practical guidance on personal finance and financial well-being. For those interested in deeper listening, Shaun discusses why money stories matter in episode #20 of his podcast, “Why Your Money Story Matters.”