Hayley Reid-Ginis could tell her life was changing when she returned to college last September. She took on a student loan, tightened her budget and cut discretionary spending. Even though she continued working while studying, that decision meant fewer nights out with friends and more careful choices about where her money went.
Prioritizing debt over discretionary spending
“I had to really be mindful with money and it was the first time that I had loans,” said the 28-year-old. She pointed out that many of her peers are already established in their careers and don’t live on a student budget. That difference means she often needs to explain her financial limits or remind friends what it’s like to live with a constrained income.
Tough choices for students in Canada — how to talk about not having the money
With the high cost of living affecting many Canadians, students and young adults face difficult decisions about how to spend their limited funds. One common consequence is skipping social outings, which can create tension or distance between friends. When you can’t afford activities that your social circle treats as routine, relationships can feel strained.
Jeri Bittorf, a financial wellness coordinator with Resolve Counselling Services Canada, hears this frequently from clients. People often feel ashamed if they can’t keep up with friends’ spending. “You might have a friend circle where you’re so used to going out to eat together or going to concerts,” she said. “A lot of whatever it is that you’re doing involves money.”
Bittorf encourages open conversations about finances. Many people assume they’re alone in their struggles, but most friend groups include at least one person under financial pressure. “It just takes that one person to start that conversation,” she said.
How to bring up money with friends
Bittorf recommends a straightforward, honest approach: start by noting specific patterns and explain how they affect you. Simple statements such as “I’ve noticed we’ve been eating out a lot” or “We’ve been going to a lot of concerts lately” help set the scene. Then share your feelings and the practical impact: “I’m worried if I keep doing this I’ll go deeper into debt because my financial situation is different.”
She adds that vulnerability with close friends often opens the door to creative, lower-cost alternatives and shared understanding. When you present facts and emotions calmly, friends are more likely to respond with empathy and practical suggestions rather than judgment.
Practical alternatives and small compromises
Reid-Ginis has used this kind of candid communication in her own life. Rather than saying “no” repeatedly, she offers specific, affordable alternatives: choosing a cheaper restaurant, organizing a picnic where everyone brings something to share, hosting a potluck, or suggesting free or low-cost activities like walking in a park or attending community events.
Those simple swaps let her stay connected without overextending financially. Still, she admits some social patterns have shifted. “I find that they just don’t ask me out and I’m not in a place that I can ask them out either,” she said. While friendships remain, some shared activities have diminished simply because they no longer fit her budget.
Setting boundaries
Elke Rubach of Rubach Wealth emphasizes discipline and living within your means when it comes to handling money and relationships. She advises understanding what portion of your income goes toward necessities, then setting aside a realistic amount for discretionary spending. This balance helps you protect financial goals while still allowing for social life.
“I’ll never tell people to stop going out because you need to save,” Rubach said. “There’s a balance. You need to be human too.” The point is to set clear, sustainable boundaries so you don’t sacrifice essential responsibilities or build avoidable debt to keep up appearances.
How to maintain friendships when budgets differ
Relationships don’t have to end because of money. The key is honest communication, creative problem-solving and mutual respect. If you can explain your limits and propose alternatives, many friends will welcome the chance to find activities that work for everyone.
If conversations feel difficult, frame them around positive intentions: you value the friendship and want to keep spending time together, but you need to do so in ways that won’t harm your financial stability. Invite input and be open to rotating responsibility for planning or costs so that no single person always bears the expense.
Resources and further reading
- How to apply for loans and grants for Canadian students
- Money-saving strategies for students
- The best student credit cards in Canada
- What to do when you have insufficient or unused RESP funds